Food is Good

Food is Good:

I ate yesterday. I ate a real meal yesterday for the first time in three days. I know many would count what I ate in those three days as eating because compared to starvation, it's a feast. But again, I don't dig lesser-of-two-evils' arguments.

In those three days I ate lots of toast with butter and jelly. I had a couple of pieces of celery. I had a couple of jam sandwiches with a slice of sandwich meat jammed between two pieces of bread. (a thin-slice of high-sodium, low-protein turkey sandwich meat ... what a rip off by the way). I also fried one potato ... twice and steamed broccoli once. That was it for three days. I've done it before but each time it feels like I'm descending into a hole. I want to work, but I'm too tired to concentrate. The only thing I have energy to do is watch T.V. I do get up and look in the refrigerator every hour just to see that I didn't miss anything. Of course there is nothing to miss. It's an exercise in hope.

I want to work out, build a business, be productive, but when I can't eat I feel like such a failure. Never mind that I was on an anti-allergen diet beforehand. Those plans are on the shelf for when I have a constant source of income and food. For now, I'll eat almost anything, even if I am allergic to it. I think, "why not meditate", but I'm too tired for that. I feel my bones getting weaker and I feel powerless to do anything about it.

Thank god for friends. A friend of mine has been cooking soups for me during the week. She's vegetarian so I have to go out without animal protein that my body likes, but what the fuck. Some food is better than no food and food made by a friend with love is the best food of all.

The Internet is like a camera and so many other "enabling" technologies. We're able to film starvation, hunger, war, and death anywhere in the world but so far we make ourselves powerless to stop it. I'm able to blog and update my information on the Internet, but that doesn't mean I can eat. We the people like to provide ourselves all sorts of satisfaction devices, but not the basics like food. I won't even touch the topic of "good" food that one of my friend's is so interested in these days. Most of our food is crap and to fight that crap pharmaceutical companies offer all sorts of pills and potions to "make it better" so that we can consume more of it. Capitalism offers us many things, but it also a shitty system prone to massive abuse. I'm referring to a theoretical model of capitalism that doesn't exist with our modern-American political structure, especially under the likes of Bush. If capitalism is freedom, then its and freedom for whom? Are Iraqis free from fear and free? What the fuck does freedom mean then? I don't like theoretical arguments about freedom when so many people starve. Also, what does freedom mean when people are afraid to walk on the streets at night? Are those streets reserved as "free" only for the Hummers who drive on them "tax-free"?

But alas, I ate a solid meal last night. It wasn't the best, but it was an improvement so I guess for today I have to go back on my own theory and say that some food is better than no food. Or, some crappy food (lesser evil) is better than no food (greater evil).

I still don't like the argument. It's so prone to abuse. And abused it is by so many religious zealots of all stripes. "Man shall not kill" and afterwards the Jews pour into Israel and slaughter the "less" godly. The Muslim extremists kill because they are less evil than the infidels. I'm mean really, most of this is bullshit.

But, for my own health, I need to avoid political discussions. They make me angry. How's my punctuation by the way? It feels funny. Any grammar instructors out there?